Hatchlings Games

Web Gaming 2.0 Revolution

My first speech

So today’s the day of this game pitch competition that we got shortisted in. We went through a couple of presentations since the past week, and none of them were exactly too ‘perfect’ in our eyes.

So on Wednesday night, Slade said “Forget these crap, we’ll just do something different.”

And within 10 hours (4am – 2pm), we rushed out a still animation, a video, some nonsensical slides, and a speech about galactic domination. Our presentation was at 2.45pm.

You just had to be there to know what happened.

So I was the ‘voice’ of the Dark King of Cosmos, or DKOC (D-cock), and I was supposed to deliver a speech of utmost grandeur. 40 minutes in Notepad and Thesaurus produced this:

Salutations, fellow Gonorrheans, Syphilians, Chlamydians and six million other sentient races which I neglect to mention, a good day to you and may your aufgemischs are verlungen. I bring to you this message of the paramount urgentness from DKOC.

What followeth, is the spahnking new inter-intra-galactical domination scheme from our beloved DKOC. But first, the obligatory maniacal laughter, for your aural pleasure.

MWAHAHAHAHAA!

(ahem) Our propaganda will be spread through what-is-this Encephalon project, an addictive little game with a square board and little rectangular pieces of colorful electrons. We will first target the majority of the galactic consciousness, those little, mid-big beings with oily-ginous faces, and hairs coming out of areas best not mentioned for the integrity of this message. These little hairy beings spend most of their time, doing what they call ‘surfing’, on this galactic consciousness, much to the disappointment of the larger, hairier beings who try in vain to control their lives.

We will first scatter the seeds of servitude by planting little subliminal text messages throughout Encephalon, under Operation “Googly Adsense”. The googly eyes will see through the shallow hearts of these pitiful little beings, and display text ‘advertisements’ of their interest. These beings will unknowingly click on these ‘advertisements’, and thus putting virtual shiny coppery coins into our galactic coffers.

I would laugh maniacally now if not that my face is stiff from speaking in this manner.

But that! Is not the end of our plan. One would be preposterous to think that subjugating little hairless beings’ nervous centers would suffice to dominate the intra-inter-galaxisms. We will then approach the bigger hairy beings with the money, the moolah, and draw them into our grandicular scheme. Under the illusion that they will control whole planets, they will host copies of the Encephalon project, and be compelled to lure more little beings into playing this game to get more of those moolahs. In turn, those little beings will beseech eagerly for their littler friends to join them in this addictive little game. Pwned! As they say.

My dear Cancerians, Hepatitians, Arthritians and six million other sentient races which I neglect to mention, come join us in this bigtastic inter-intra-galaxial domination scheme. With Project Encephalon, DKOC shall rule the world, the galaxy, the universe, the infinity and beyond!

And well, we won the pitch.

Don’t ask.

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December 20, 2006 - Posted by | Entrepreneurship, Game Design

15 Comments »

  1. Muahaha! That is right nowing, DKoC shall rule the world. I think we did pretty bad with the presentation though. It was an overcooked sales pitch lol. The speech really p4wN3d everyone. No one was expecting this thing. We are really lucky. The idea, design, business and thoroughness of the proposal must have made us won the RM50,000 (US$13,700).

    The next step would be to pimp up the speech and slides. When we are ready, we’ll spread the message of DKoC to the world.

    But seriously, we are not evil. DkoC is just so darn funny.

    Comment by Slade | December 21, 2006 | Reply

  2. nowing,

    Should we upload our slides? They are just so damn funny.

    Comment by Slade | December 21, 2006 | Reply

  3. Yeah we should 😀

    Comment by no-wing | December 21, 2006 | Reply

  4. hey!!
    yeah please upload it.. wanna see it :))

    I have no idea what you are talking about.. hahaha..

    Comment by drumsticks | December 21, 2006 | Reply

  5. cOnGrAtUlAtIoNz to aLL of you!! 😉

    Comment by drumsticks | December 21, 2006 | Reply

  6. your bombastic speech.. is funny

    Comment by drumsticks | December 21, 2006 | Reply

  7. Hey drumsticks,

    Thank you so much for your support. The bombastic speech is funny. The videos are funny. Stay tune, we are going to upload everything for your laughing pleasure.

    Over here at Hatchlings Games, we are brain-washed by DKoC’s message of galactical domination.

    Comment by Slade | December 22, 2006 | Reply

  8. LOVE-YOUR-CLIP! HAHA! Congratz again!!

    Comment by Cubbie | December 25, 2006 | Reply

  9. […] We presented the funniest pitch of the day and of course, we won tons of claps from the audiences. To know more in depth about the content of presentation, please click here. […]

    Pingback by Game Pitch Winner « Breaking Through | December 26, 2006 | Reply

  10. Thanks. Congratz to you too Cubbie!

    Looking forward to watch the progress of ur oil man…

    Comment by Slade | December 26, 2006 | Reply

  11. Googly-eyed?

    “…those little, mid-big beings with oily-ginous faces, and hairs coming out of areas best not mentioned for the integrity of this message.” With a speech like that, you were expecting what? Third place? Like hell la! First place all the way!

    …and you’re pretending to be humble. Bah! I see right through your veil of feigned humility! Bah!

    Comment by Ganaesh | December 30, 2006 | Reply

  12. Glad you think it was a pawning speech.

    Comment by Slade | January 2, 2007 | Reply

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    Comment by JesseNewst | March 9, 2007 | Reply

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    Pingback by The Evolution of Quasr's Design « Hatchlings Games | March 25, 2007 | Reply

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